Resurgam

resurgam (2)

There are some years that stand out more than others. For me, 2015 was such a year. I suspect that even several years from now, I’ll point to that one and remember how much it strained, shattered, and slowly remade me.

And now it’s come to an end. There were days when I had no idea who or where I would be by this point. Yet here I am, officially calling it “last year” and looking ahead to the untouched days of “this year.”

Since grade school, I’ve been a resolution person. I like making lists and dreaming big. New Year’s holds such promise, and that energy always inspires me to make a bunch of my own promises.

Drink more water, eat less sugar, get in shape, stick to a sleep schedule and a budget. Track everything in a planner, be consistent with blogging, develop my skills at writing. Keep in touch with friends and relatives, send handwritten letters, create more opportunities for ministry, develop stronger leadership skills. Study music, earn a high GPA, build websites, find time for hobbies. Prioritize my relationship with God, read the Bible in a year, pray daily, fast weekly. 

That list has looped through my brain since December.  Just looking at it makes me feel like I’ve failed. Every single thing on it is important. Accomplishing them would be beneficial. Yet if I already feel overwhelmed, an hour into the New Year, how am I going to feel by the end of January?

So although I would love to conquer each of those goals, I’m making a different choice for 2016. I’m summing up my intentions with a single word instead of bullet points or bulky paragraphs.

As I was journaling last week, well past midnight, I stumbled into the word that will be my mantra for this year. I was struggling against the weight of an entire year, and I felt God whisper that word into my mind.

Resurgam. It’s a Latin phrase, but the meaning is simple: I will rise again. 

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After 2015 exhausting me in almost every way, I want 2016 to be about one thing. Rising again; above everything that’s happened, and everything that may yet happen. So my resolution this year isn’t defined by what I accomplish, and how many things I check off that endless list. I’m not going to “fail” my goals this year, because my focus makes “failure” irrelevant.

When I fall, for fall I will, I haven’t failed. I can rise again. And again. As many times as it takes. The grace of Jesus means that as long as I have breath, I have a chance. I can take the nail-scarred hand He offers me and stand up, no matter how hard I fall.

When I struggle to pray, I will remember “resurgam,” and try again.
When I make a wrong choice, I will tell myself “resurgam.”
When I feel overwhelmed, I will be reminded of “resurgam.”

I wish I could say that I won’t experience low points in 2016 the way I did in 2015. But I can’t. I don’t know what awaits me in the next 365 days. A new year doesn’t guarantee a perfect, or even completely good, one. All it guarantees is a chance to reflect, and reset. A chance to declare “resurgam.”

I’ll take that chance. And into 2016, I will rise again.

Do you have resolutions or a specific word for your year? 

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11 thoughts on “Resurgam

  1. Beautiful post, Sarah. I have a feeling 2016 is going to be a fantastic year for you.

    2015 was a year filled with a lot of growing and changes for me too. Some of them were good, some not so good, but I learned lessons through all of them. I’m hoping 2016 brings me even more growing and learning, and I’m looking forward to the adventures that lie ahead. Who knows? It just might be the best year yet.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. 2016 I think has many goals for me. Catch up in School, pray more offen, read my Bible every day, be a better Dancer, and do a split;) But I know that my year is gunna get really ruff by the end because both my brother and my sister are moving far away. Not only are there lives changing but so it mine, because nothing will ever be the same, all I’ve ever known is gone. And I know everything I do them from now on is a last, last Christmas living together, last new year, last summer, no more conversations late into the night laughing and having. Everything will change. Am I ready for them to leave? No but the only thing keeping me going (other then God of corse) is that ill still see them and talk to them though not as offen. And I know once they leave I’ll be extremely lonely all the time when I don’t have them anymore. But what I look forward to, is after. After, everything is done I can move on and have a different relationship with them. And now after writing all this out I realized that I never will have to be alone. Not because of friends and family, but because of God because He will never leave my side. No matter how much my faith wavers, He will always be there, And That’s what I’ll rely on in 2016!

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    1. Hey there! I’m so sorry, I thought I replied to you earlier. Guess not. (Another resolution for me to work on! 😉 )
      I completely understand where you’re coming from. My brother is one of my best friends, and he moved away in 2015. It was a hard adjustment, and I still miss him terribly. But you’re so right when you say we’ll never be alone, because God is always with us. We can rely on that for 2016, and every year after that. It’s so comforting to think of that! Happy New Year. I hope 2016 will still turn out to be a good one for you! ❤

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  3. Resolutions and goals are ever so present, as this new year has begun. However, I appreciate the opportunity to “rise again” despite my shortcomings in this journey called life. Thank you for a great post. Looking forward to more in 2016! 🙂

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  4. Oh. This is such a beautiful phrase and a beautiful thing to want for the future. 2015 was a year of destruction for me, but I have a feeling that this new year will be one of rebuilding from the ashes. Thank you. I will keep this in mind. ❤

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    1. Hi Topaz! Thanks for stopping by the blog and commenting 🙂 Rebuilding from ashes certainly isn’t an easy thing, is it? One of the scriptures I’ve been holding onto is Isaiah 61:3, which mentions God gives us beauty in exchange for ashes. I’m looking forward to seeing that happen in 2016 for my life, and I know He will do the same for you! ❤
      P.S. I was just browsing your blog, and it is absolutely lovely. You have such a way with words, and the design is gorgeous. I’m looking forward to reading more!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. This is beautiful, Sarah. So beautiful. The phrase “Beauty from ashes” keeps running through my mind.

    I knew your 2015 was shaping up to be a rough year — just from seeing various hints on Twitter and here and IG — and I want you to know that I’m so proud of you (which sounds odd, but I AM) for how you’ve come through the fire. I know it wasn’t easy, but it brings tears to my eyes to have a glimpse of what you’ve gone through and how it’s changed you as a person — how your soul has stretched and deepened still further. I can see God’s hand in every word of this post, and it touches me so much.

    May you rise and rise again, dear friend. ❤ You're in my prayers.

    (your new blog design? I like. ^_^)

    Liked by 1 person

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